A few weeks ago I read a millennial’s blog about working with a group of older co-workers. It opened my eyes to the idea that often, when generations mix in the workplace, it can be a challenge.
This young professional related to her older co-workers by overtly complimenting them, bringing them food, and discussing the art of crochet. I’d like to think that the more experienced workers among us can do better than that in welcoming a younger person into our midst.
I thought if the only way younger employees could get along with me was by patronizing me, feeding me or (god forbid) crocheting (not that there’s anything wrong with that), I was ready to go rogue and resign my elder citizen membership!
It was a good reminder that any time we work with people who are remarkably different from us, we are challenged to put aside assumptions, open our minds and make a conscious decision to build supportive relationships in spite of our differences.
I am not assuming that all older workers struggle with a young professional in their midst. But if you do, I encourage you to think of this as an opportunity to stretch your leadership muscles. Take the lead to welcome and engage younger workers cordially and professionally. Find ways to build relationships and explore common ground rather than focusing on your differences.
1. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how hard it can be for young person to immerse into a predominantly older workforce, and how conspicuously different they may feel. Ask them what you can do to make their experience less daunting.
2. Don’t make assumptions about them being bratty, entitled young adults you’ve read about. Frankly I haven’t met many that live up to the hype with which their generation has been smeared. You don’t know their story, what they’ve overcome to be where they are or how nervous they may feel at this stage in their careers.
3. Encourage them. Remember all the people who helped you in your career? Pay it forward. Ask what you can do to help them get started. Offer support as they get acclimated to the workplace. What do they need to know about the work, the organization, the industry or the people, that you can help with?
4. Explore their ideas. Instead of shooting down new ideas, engage them in dialogue. They have new eyes and will see things differently. Sure, not everything they offer will make sense for the organization right now. So inquire about their point of view, have a conversation. Be open to what their perspective offers. You might create something together.
5. Invite them in. If you have workplace traditions or celebrations, personally invite them to participate, even if you send a group email. It’s a way to reach out and include them; to create community together.
6. Treat them like adults. Avoid addressing them using terms like son, dear, champ, missy, or other diminutive appellations. This is a workplace, after all, not your kid’s little league team.
7. Avoid sentences that begin with, “When I was your age….” This is a tough one, because you may think the only thing you have in common with a younger person is that at some point you were the same age that they are now.
Instead of regaling them with tales of your (possibly misspent) youth, ask about their interests, inquire about how they see their future unfolding, why they studied what they did, and why they wanted to work for your organization. What do they aspire to? Ask what keeps them up at night. You might find some common ground that will surprise you.
8. Don’t be a Negative Nelly, even if you think everything and everyone in the organization sucks. Young energy and optimism can be contagious. Don’t squash it. Try to catch it.
9. Don’t treat them like children, compare them to your children or in any way refer to them as being like or behaving like, your children. They are not your children (or grandchildren.) They are professionals, just like you, and the others that you work with. They just have a different level of experience.
10. Don’t ask them how old they are. It’s none of your business, and, it’s immaterial to getting work done.
11. Don’t comment on how young they look. See above.
12. Don’t resent them because of their age. If you feel resentful, examine your motives and see what’s really bothering you. It has nothing to do with them, I assure you.
13. Save the unsolicited advice. This may come as a shock, but if they didn’t ask you for it, they’re probably not listening anyway.
And yeah, sure, talk about your cats. Crochet if you must. My hope is that these other ideas challenge you to raise the bar a bit. I know you can do it.